Een studieruimte kan een strijd op leven en dood zijn
Een natuurdocumentaire is er niets bij: laat ze een dagje in een studieruimte op de campus filmen en je ziet meer grof natuurgeweld dan je in je hele leven op Discovery Channel zult zien. Studieruimtes zijn een strijd op leven en dood.
1. Een plek bezet houden in een studieruimte kan niet zomaar. Alleen een pen en collegeblok neerleggen en op de computer ‘zo terug’ typen is niet genoeg. Nee, je moet minstens je hele voedselvoorraad, je Macbook en een nier achterlaten, en een duivels ritueel uitvoeren om indringers en kwade geesten buiten te houden.
2. Mensen die wortels eten. Als blikken konden doden, waren deze mensen al dood.
3. Nog erger: mensen die achter een computerplek gaan zitten en vervolgens hun laptop tevoorschijn toveren. GA. WEG.
4. Zoals nerds voor de Apple-store liggen wanneer er een nieuwe iPhone verschijnt, gaan er mensen nu ook met een slaapzak voor de bieb liggen in de hoop een studieplek te bemachtigen. Tragisch.
5. Sterker nog, je zou waarschijnlijk miljonair worden als je iedere keer je studieplek aan andere studenten zou verkopen. Dat wil zeggen, als je er zélf een kon bemachtigen.
6. Je hebt er een hekel aan als degene naast je vraagt of je even ‘op hun spullen kan letten’ wanneer zij even 2 uur joost-mag-het-weten gaan doen. Sorry hoor, maar wat ga je doen als er echt iemand hun spullen uit de studieruimte komt jatten? Vechten? Dacht het niet.
7. Iedereen maakt zoveel herrie, dat het soms lijkt dat ik op een festival ben. Mijn concentratie is net zo moeilijk te vinden als mannen op de studie pedagogische wetenschappen.
8. Maar stiekem wil je aan iedereen in de bieb wel laten zien hoe goed je kan studeren zonder iedere vijf minuten op Facebook te kijken. Het is officieel geen wedstrijd, maar toch voel je de competitie. Wie is hier de grootste nerd? Dat ben jij toch overduidelijk.
9. Moe maar voldaan stuur je ’s-avonds naar al je vrienden ‘ik heb tot 12!!! uur op de uni gezeten vandaag!’ zodat iedereen medelijden kan tonen en onder de indruk kan zijn van jouw doorzettingsvermogen.
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